Post 37, in which I am a delicate flower

Moonflower
Most years I grow these.  Some years they
thrive and bloom with huge night-blooming
flowers that smell heavenly.  Other years they
don't.  I am starting seeds again this year
because the times they do bloom make it
worthwhile to try.  

On Tuesdays after my radiation, I'm scheduled to stay a bit longer to check in with my radiation oncologist and her oncology nurse to make sure I'm doing ok.  Lately the hip has been aching again, although the consensus seems to be that it's probably inflammation from the radiation itself (read: good pain) rather than pain from the cancer that is somehow returning mid-treatment (read: bad pain).

Unfortunately, the appointments this past Tuesday seemed to focus pretty directly on one thing: Do not under any circumstances overuse or otherwise physically stress that joint.  At all.  Ever.  For many, many months.

It was actually kind of funny.  My nurse told me I should be careful with my motions and should definitely not be using StairMasters or anything like that (ok, truth is, I've never, ever been on a StairMaster, so that should be easy advice to follow).  She also said the "hope" was that especially because I'm young, the bone would regrow and fill in where the cancer destroyed it.

My Radiation Oncologist told me that I absolutely must rest it because the bones will be very fragile for a long while.  I then asked my Radiation Oncologist if I could bike (While I don't have a StairMaster, I do have a bike.  Plus it's getting nice out.  Plus I generally think of biking as the non-impact exercise that isn't actually boring.)

That was, apparently, not the right thing to ask.  The shock was quite visible when she asked me, "You haven't been biking, have you?!?" in pretty much the same way you would say something like, "Please tell me you aren't really covering yourself in gasoline and then smoking cigarettes," (don't worry, I'm not) or, "Oh, dear, you haven't been wearing a deer costume to wander through the woods on the first day of hunting season again!" (don't worry, I haven't).

Truthfully, I haven't been biking at all, which is good, apparently.  I've actually been feeling bad that I'm not getting more exercise these days since I've been feeling better and I keep reading these stupid Twitter tweets from Dana Farbar about all the fabulous things people are doing to reduce their risk of cancer with a heavy emphasis on exercise (this morning I learned  from @DanaFarber: "Inactive women are at a higher risk of developing breast cancer, and women who exercise after #breastcancer have better survival." #SFSCWC, while yesterday I found out from @DanaFarber: "Dana Farber intern Alina finds her #WayToWellness by tap dancing. http://t.co/ow4WVlmhBj.").

I'd feel a lot better to be "off the hook" if I didn't feel quite so much like it was dooming me to poor outcomes.  But, as it sounds like my hip may be prematurely returning to ashes and dust (not literally, I'm just a little bitter and bitterness makes me melancholy.  Plus I like the sound of it.  And I went to Dana Farber on Ash Wednesday.)  

So, no tap-dancing, StairMastering, or biking for me in the near future.  But at least I haven't broken anything yet, so that's a blessing.

Now I just need to go unfollow organizations that send out cherpy wellness tweets that tend to depress me, at least for the next few months.